Kathy Hilton’s White Noise Machine

Kathy Hilton does not nap. She retires — like an old-money grand dame slipping behind a velvet curtain — and her white noise machine is the bouncer.

You’ve seen her mention it on RHOBH with the same off-handedness she uses to remember she also owns several properties. The device itself is matte, compact, deeply unsexy. Which is precisely the point. Loud objects are for women still proving something. Kathy is, famously, not.

Buy it if your husband snores. Buy it if your neighbors are renovating something you were not consulted on. Buy it if the world is simply too coarse to fall asleep inside. Acquire → The rich sleep better. Now you’ll know why.